“For who could ever love a beast?” So begins a favorite fairytale, Beauty and the Beast. Disney transports us into thinking if we are charming, beautiful, strong enough we can tame a beast and make him into a prince. 

But once again, Disney lied to us. The truth is, we pretend to be prince and princess, get married, and wake up to find we’ve married a beast…

And soon we realize… we are a beast.

Selfish, self-centered, with a nasty temper when we don’t get our way.

Someone once said if you want to know how selfish you are, get married. We easily get frustrated when we have to share our friends, our family, our feelings and our finances, our bed and our shed, our space, our attention, our goals, etc., etc., etc.

God uses marriage to teach us and change us. And Jesus used marriage as a metaphor for us to try to understand the depth of His love for us.

The Perfect Groom

In Jesus’ final hours, He continued to exemplify perfect love for His disciples. 

John 13:1 says “…Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.”

The time before Jesus’ excruciating death begins with the Passover meal. Everyone had began to eat when Jesus gets up and starts to wash feet. He didn’t pull rank or victim, saying he should be the last one to have to do it because of his status or because he was having a hard time. He was able to look past himself, see a need, and be the first to fill it.

How? How could He do such a thing with so much going on in His mind? We can see a hint in John 13:3: “Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under His power, and that He had come from God and was returning to God.”

Jesus knew who He was. He didn’t have to have others understand.

A farmer married a town girl and brought her out to his land. When she offered to help with the cattle, he insisted she was too good for that, and he would not have her get her hands dirty in the barn. 

After a few months of marriage, a blizzard was coming and the farmer was frantically trying to secure everything before the storm hit. He asked his bride to help with the cows. ‘Oh no,’ she said, ‘I was your precious bride before—too good to be in the barn—and I haven’t changed just because we’ve been married longer.’

Too often, when it comes time to serve each other, we refuse to humble ourselves because we fear being devalued. ‘Do you know who I am? You can’t treat me like this!’ we cry. 

But Jesus knew who He was in the Lord. He didn’t need validation from the people. So He was able to humble Himself—the God of the Universe washing dirty feet.

Jesus served His disciples. In the race to get ahead in marriage, we should race to serve each other. In a Christian marriage, we should not be saying, ‘Well, I did this-this-this, so it’s your turn to do that!’

Secondly, in Jesus’ last evening with His friends, He supported them. He encouraged and comforted them (John 14:1), He prayed for them (John 17), and He held them to a standard. We too can make or break our spouse by how we speak to them and about them. We need to be intentional about encouraging them. Praying for someone grows love in both the praying person and the receiving one.

In John 18:10-11, Peter steps out of line by cutting off the ear of a soldier. Jesus stopped him, showing love for him by setting boundaries and holding him to it. “I love you too much to let you be less than your best,” said author Tim Hansel’s wife. 

And finally, we know Jesus sacrificed for us, His bride (John 19:18). Jesus’ endless love changed us from beasts to His bride. From those incapable of love to people who can also be the first to serve, support and sacrifice. He made us worthy of being invited to the wedding feast, because of His perfect love.

And when we love each other, we witness to the world what true love does, and the God who freely gives it (John 17:25-26). Our marriages are gifts. Our capacity to love is a gift. And our transformation is a gift. 

Celebrate this gift, Little Sister, and share His love every chance you can get by serving, supporting and sacrificing for others. A mighty circle of witnesses will be praying for you.